I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
