Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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