do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
