she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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