i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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