If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
