The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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