Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
