And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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