I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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