it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
