Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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