you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
