i will never coherently bang her
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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