I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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