maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
