I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
