I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
