i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
