What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
