do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
