They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My life is pants optional.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
