i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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