so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
