Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
