She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
