but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
