butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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