I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
