you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
