you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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