I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
