Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize