so that wasnt chicken after all
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
