So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
