just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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