I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
