I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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