Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I got inside last night via doggy door
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Success! We fucked roommates!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
