you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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