You made me cry and you don't even care
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
