New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
