tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
