So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize