Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
