and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
