You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize