Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
