after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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