I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
