You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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