i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
