If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
