whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
