I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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