This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize