LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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