Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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