You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
