I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
