Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
They have beer where we have blood.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
