Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
