I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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