Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
