I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize