i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
