Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize