dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
