please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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